Confessions

jahcalvo

I think we make our own decisions, i just think that fate sends us little signs, and it’s how we read the signs that determines whether we’re happy or not.

jahcalvo

there are some things that keeps on bothering me this past few weeks....

it really bothers me a lot...

there comes a point that i really need someone whom i can talk and tell everything...

but then i decided to keep it...

and let me think about it and decide all by myself...

In decision making...

i think about the pros and cons...

the advantages and disadvantages...

and finally...

I've got an answer/solution/decision to that effin thing that 's keeps on bothering me...

and i know whatever that decision is....

im doin things right...

the best for me....

and it will makes me happy

:)

joycie

Nothing makes a day faster than looking forward to something. And today, what put me through the first half of my day was the fact that me and my friends went out tonight.

This get together was for Joie. To cheer her up from her recent breakup after a 5 year relationship. We (Andrea, Andrew, King, Neli, Joie and I) met up at Rob and had dinner at Don Henrico's, remembering our clerkship experiences. That was the time when we were still students, and from there started comparing our internships at different hospitals. We had a hearty meal, and I felt at home, reconnecting with those I shared a wonderful 4 years of medicine proper with.

After that, we walked to a Karaoke Bar where we sang a mix of vengeful and sentimental songs for Joie. Some, for me. For them, too. I was tipsy and having so much fun, fun, fun, when..

He texted. He says he wants to die. He says I hurt him too much.

It's not the first time he's said that. He does it when I don't text or answer his calls or when I tell him that I don't feel the same. But now, I don't even know what I've done. I was always upfront and honest. And I did try to like him. I tried so hard, that I even DID like him. And he even thought I loved him back already. But it's not enough..

Because I knew the difference when I fell for somebody (who betrayed me instead). Argh. I am being played and twisted by fate.

It's good that work takes so much out of my mind. The brain can only do one thing at a time, and it helps to keep focus on what's in front.  In a few hours time, I'll be on track a 32 hour tour of duty, mending other people's bodies when I am so...broken inside.

jahcalvo

 i want long and curly hair.....

i miss....

BOREDOM...

someone come and save me....

jahcalvo

I dont have any plan to watch NEW MOON yesterday....

but then i texted my pangga that i miss bonding with her....

so we decided to bond yesterday and watched NEW MOON after class...

how i miss bonding with my pangga...

she is my friend since first year college...

few months to go and im leavin...

im surely gonna miss her more...

ME and MY PANGGA

anyway about the movie NEW MOON...

it is super nice....

i love it i love it to the max....

JACOB is super HOT...i love the ABS....hihi

before i heart Cullen team...

but now i heart more JAcob team.....because of the cute guys..haha

regarding the story i love it...

how i wish theres EDWARD AND JACOB in my life...lol...

The movie is super "BITIN".....

i cant wait to watch eclipse next year....

my fave line in the movie:

"MARRY ME"

Mahilig siya kumain. Naiisip ko talaga, sayang, gustong gusto ko sabayan ang appetite niya. Pero hindi ko na talaga kaya. Napipilitan lang ako talagang ubusin. Namaaaan. Naiinis ako. Ayoko mag paka-petite na kakaunti lang ang appetite. Gusto ko makipag sabayan sa kanya. Para hindi siya nahihiyang sabihin na, nagugutom siya.

Mahilig siya kumain. Grabe yun lamon ng popcorn niya kanina. Grabe rin, nilamon niya yun popcorn ko kanina. E kung binigay ko rin sa kanya yun bibingka at yun yum burger ko, baka napa busog pa siya. Grabe.

Gusto ko tuloy matuto mag luto. Baka sakaling magawa ko nga yun, a way to his heart.

Nakana. May ganun banat.

Pero like ko pa lang naman siya. Wala pang yun malulupet na fireworks. Gustong gusto ko yun ugali niyang adventurous. Nakaka-excite makisama sa taong ready mag travel. Ang saken naman kasi, gusto ko gawin rin yun, kaso yun oras at pera, kapos. Kung meron man, wala akong kasama. Although, mas naeenjoy ko nga naman yun nag-iisa ako pag naglalakbay, pero mas nakakatuwa pag may kasama. Hindi mo man lang feel na dumadaan na ang araw.

Gusto ko magkaroon ako ng saktong time at pera, para maki-join sa mga adventures niya. At least, alam ko na siya, mahilig sa travel. Baka mameet ko pa yun mga friends niya na mahilig rin sa adventures.

Hindi ko talaga pwede ipilit ang sarili ko na mag-fall.

Kanina nagwonder ako kung bakit yun ibang tao, ang bilis na mainlab o kundi man, magustuhan kaagad yun tao. Kung ako yun dati ngayun, masasagot ko yan. Pero ngayun, hindi ko na maintindihan kung bakit ang bilis magfall sa tao. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung kelan mafafall. Anu bang signs na nafafall ka na? As in yun hindi sapilitan ha. As in yun biglaan na lang. Tas pag pinag-accumulate mo, magugulat ka na lang nafafall ka na.

Mag-uumpisa ako.

1. hindi na masyado nag-iisip. sa sobrang inlab, wala ng care sa logical reasoning.

so. hindi pa nga ako inlab.

Eto pa isang tanong. Kelan mo malalaman na pinipiglan mo ang sarili mo na mahulog dahil alam mong pahulog kana, sa pinipilit mo ang sarili na mahulog dahil alam mong wala talaga?

rhetorical questions do not need answers.

//

jahcalvo

i hate myself to day....:(

im making that effin stupid mistake again.........

I HATE IT!!!

STUPID.STUPID.STUPID.

jahcalvo

*you have to try to make this easy...*

it's stupid funny how someone complicate things...




take a chance. maybe it'll pay off. :)